Riddle Me This

Despite how this sounds I'm not running my guitar through a filter, the mic on my computer is just really...crappy. This song has many more drafts to go through before its done, but here it is in its infancy.




Front steps with a beer, a cigarette and a secret
Kept not through concealment, but unfamiliarity
Lay it out for me

You know, or you don't, but I have recently had a rough go
And I'm paying on dividends
I have one or two or 12 loose ends

So, who are you? Where are you from?
What do you stand for and what ever do you want from me?

Kitchen table confessions, of my life preceeding you
I am on a path, but now Anji I'm not sure what do to
Because this path did not account for you

I know that I don't deserve this chance
And really, I'm not ready for romance
But please just say yes
To one or two or 12 more nights like this

Riddle me this what am I to do about a little kiss
Set on repeat in the forefront of my mind
Everytime you laugh, and that first time you cried

Kitchen table conversations of what it might feel like
you and me
to share a path, the inevitability

Riddle me this what am I to do about a little kiss
Set on repeat, I will make you mine
And everytime you laugh, and each time you cry
I will hold you,
mmmm, you and I

I can't find the words
In a world so far from this space
And I can't find the phrase
To put our love in its place

But I, have been thinking of you all day
And I, oh I just needed to say

There is not a poem
That in words, captures where we’re going
And I, can’t write a love song
Without getting it all wrong

But then you come home and its all okay
...

Where I'm from
There is a lake
Often mistaken
For an ocean

For a little while
You can dance among the waves
These are the days
Of my youth

Where you come from
You can see for miles around
Plenty of tumbleweeds
And fresh turned earth

Your roots are deep
Your memories sweet
So take a little walk with me

Where we are going
There is no knowing
But there's no going
Alone

Alone I walked over blackened stone
Forged by nature's fire, born to nature's wrath
Formed by a fierce rage finally coming to rest

You appeared first as a delicate silhouette
Against the horizon of a morning sun
So far away I dared not even dream

My gaze fell to the shuffling of my feet
I could not see the forest and there were no trees
You were on your path but ever next to me

As the sun ascended surpassing the clouds
I welcomed her warmth on my skin
Nearly taken by the sunset you found me there

As my day gave way to dusk
The sky let loose in sorrow
Her tears searing my sun-kissed skin

My gaze fell to the trail I'd left behind me
The inertia of its course was pulling relentlessly
I paused on my path to find you next to me

I turned and said, "You know I never cared much for rain
and this sky is unbearably gray
Please leave me here, I'll only get in your way"

You said you knew I would do what I may
Then you said not all is lost, you'd found beauty
In the rain

Then I realized what you already knew
But I was scared to tell you
So I simply followed you and in time
Took your hand in mine
and whispered
it was always you

so late its turning early
dawn is breaking night
surely you recall a moment
i was so fragile, you
turned away, i
didn't realize
didn't know it meant
you wouldn't stay

so fresh still bleeding
unclean untended unseen
seedling without sun leaning
hold your breath
here comes the morning light

i know you had to go
still, you stayed
i never would have left
had to walk away
i learn to pray as my last cigarette
turns to ash
because maybe i needed you
maybe i couldn't do
it alone, wasn't strong enough to keep us together
but i'm strong enough to hold my own

springs arrives once upon a song
on the winter worn valley of us
casting a path between peaks of bitter and sweet
on my knees, good time is hard to make
but better than hard time on my feet
frozen in one place

Sketches

Expanded 3/14/10

Music has always had great power in my life. Through music that is written by others I feel connected to the world and in that which I write, I feel whole.

Its a rare experience to hear music as its written. A rough sketch of what may be tossed aside forever or become something more. I have gotten into recording as soon as I put my pen down - sometimes I don't have the chord progressions finalized and I certainly don't know the words because sometimes they haven't been written. The melody (or lack thereof) is free flowing and still being defined. But most of all - I am still so connected to the song. After the rough sketch the distance becomes greater and greater and the process shifts from "get it all out" to "get it all right". I find these recordings intriguing and wanted to begin to share them. Feedback is welcome.

the story of what was

the truth of what has come before
slumbers between the bed of "i knew then"
and sheets of "in retrospect" woven
so quietly in the absence of light
i pretend its not there

truth's edges are soothed by time's grace
delicately composed layer by
harshly comprised layer deceives
for what is wrapped in the package labeled "survival"
is unfolded to reveal all the broken pieces
under rug swept

Quarterback

This is me as I have never been
Before - a paradox
After - of little concern

Arrival: I chose this for failing to choose

Life through erosion
Time flows inattentively
One move
Head turn - stand still
Eyes closed

Destination: of little importance

Acceptance: This is not destiny but
a neglected version of fate

I believe I am the quarterback
pity the lack of interference
Yet find the jersey hanging - dusty
startled to find not the uniform
but my own reflection

This is physical but exists outside of
its form - flourishes without containment
Fertilized by its root

Petrified by its company - mortified by
my inability to learn - wanting to think
this through - knowing it cannot be conceived

So I release - tiny thread by fragile thread
a way of life
that instead of that became this

Concealment

In a room without windows
dissected by a curtain - concealing
a woman with a story
not unlike my own
yet I crave separation

The clock pushes through time
air is thick and progress
is in short supply
freely given information has suffered extinction
while I stared at a black television screen
waiting for answers that were not mine to have

Measure This

Surrounded by pastel walls
Everything in its proper place
Except all that is inside
Which feels chaotic in this sanitized space

Because my blood is alizarin crimson
Coursing through cerulean veins
This venue's lacking volume
A dynamic that cannot be traced

Measure this is you may
The distance from here to then
Rest assured this is not who I am

Surrounded by experts
In whom I am asked to place faith
As they profess ignorance
Therefore my condition must be fake

I confess I am a little frustrated
As you search through your notes
Always failing to see my worth
Failing to see she loves me

Measure me if you must
But when it doesn't quite add up
Don't patronize me with lines
From your freshman textbook

I reside in a world of causation
Where lay many possibilities
There is room for inconsistency
That is more clearly framed as variety

Because sometimes blue is blue
And orange is only that
Yet when they come together
Brown is born without contradicting previous fact

Measure this if you can
If not - try again
I am losing ground
There is no option - a cure must be found

Measure this if you may
Measure me if you must
Measure this if you can
If not - circle back around again

This cannot be a permanent reality